Larkwood Life: December 2015

Christmas 2015 was bitter sweet for me as it was our first Christmas back home....down in the valley as I like to say.

Our home is by no manner of means completed with all the renovations undergo, but it is coming on. After first saying I was not going to decorate for Christmas, I changed my mind after both Johan and NiQi convinced me to do so. There were a couple of reasons I didn't want to unpack and set up the tree etc, one of which was not wanting everything to get dusty and dirty. Another was to find everything, as we still have not placed all our furniture. (Some of it is standing in the other side of the house which will eventually be where NiQi and Kyle live.) The last reason though was one of mixed emotion and forethought as I realize that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for Christmas and the whole 'decorate your home' thing....so I was trying in a small way to not offend anyone with the way 'I' do Christmas.

As the years go on, I listen to the synics who protest at the earliness of Christmas being 'punted', and the growing number of our populace who believe and profess the celebration of Christmas is nothing more than another pagan holiday. I am amused by these thoughts as in my view Christmas and all it entails is in fact given much more 'time' than the one day, which in effect helps to promote the birth of Jesus......the real reason for the Christmas celebration. This ultimately makes people think about what it is really all about. So I wonder if those who complain so profusely about the carols being sung and all things 'Christmasy' in the shops, are concerned by the origin of the day and the way they see it being exploited or whether deep in their subconscious they believe it should not be celebrated at all. My thought is that it gives them reason to protest without adding any positiveness to what the day does mean to so many. I am one of those who feel the earlier 'Christmas' comes around, the better, for it does nothing less than spread good cheer, make many think of those less privileged than themselves and lastly focus's on the culmination of absolute joy at knowing without the birth of Jesus we would not have free will to choose Him and accept His gift to us of eternal life in heaven.

Back to why this Christmas was for me 'bitter sweet'.... it was as I said, our first Christmas back home and trailing my memory down the time line to 1994, I remember another Christmas which was the one and only that Mark spent here before he passed away....

I remember cutting a fir tree from the garden and the children decorating it as it stood in a bucket in the corner of the lounge next to the fire place.

I remember waking early on Christmas morning to find Mark sleeping under the tree surrounded by presents. He woke in the middle of the night after we had settled to sleep and I imagine him tiptoeing to the lounge to see if Father Christmas had indeed visited. (Yes, Johan and I are in the category of parent who told our children of the fantasy of Christmas with Father Christmas and his elves who live in the North Pole and work tirelessly all through the year to give the children of this world toys at Christmas. I firmly believe there in nothing wrong in the fantasy of Christmas so long as it is balanced by the reality of Christ.)

We knew in our hearts it could very well be Mark's last Christmas with us and I really wanted it to be special for him. Thank goodness the children were all young and hopefully did not feel the tensions of the day as we shared it with Johan's parents who were living with us at the time. We were two different cultures celebrating quite differently from each other and in the confusion of preparing and perhaps a little naïvity from me, I had no idea that the whole family would later that day be descending on us. I remember cooking the turkey on Christmas Eve as my late dad had always done, only to find out later that Johan's mum was planning on serving a hot meal...what a disaster as I felt she thought I had deliberately bamboozled her plans.... I remember all the nieces and nephews being here and our children guarding their gifts for fear they would be broken. As young as they were they had been taught to look after their possessions and the reputation of their cousins when it came to toys and their lack of caring for them was well known to our brood. To say that Christmas day that year was a disaster is an understatement but I do not think the children will remember it like that at all...if they even do remember it.

So this year I remembered all these things as I was driving down the valley on Christmas Eve, and the tears welled in my eyes as I said a prayer for Mark and my dad and I missed them both with an ache in my heart.

Christmas day was somber, not for any of the above reasons, but it was quiet...too quiet and for the first time in our 33 Christmas's together, there was not a present in sight. It was a decision not made lightly, and not only because the finances are not available for gifts of any kind, but also out of respect for those who do not agree to the concept of gift giving. The family is growing and with it different cultures, beliefs and opinions come together to share and celebrate this day as they have been raised. I wanted to show I can be flexible, however in doing that I feel I lost a piece of me. From next year, whenever Christmas is in our home we will celebrate as we have always done with love and joy and fun and games.

Last Christmas was one of the best we have ever had. Matthew and Jess arrived Christmas Eve. Johan's sister, Elmarie and her family were back from Canada and his niece, Bernadette and her family all arrived mid morning on Christmas day as we started the day with brunch....rolled over into dinner midday and later snacks in the evening. We kept going all day long with the 'left/right' game which had us in stitches, making crackers and playing the game 'Apples to Apples' to well past midnight.

This year, I sent out invitations to local family for Christmas day. RSVP's were not forth coming which crushed my soul and it ended up being just the four of us...Johan, myself, NiQi and Kyle until late morning when Sara, Bob and my mum arrived. We had a nice Christmas meal sitting out on the front verandah with the rain gently falling and the mist rolling in. A couple of hours later they were gone and that was Christmas.....over. Sara and Bob together with mum celebrated their Christmas on Boxing day with all their family together. Matthew and his girlfriend arrived on Sunday for tea. We were invited a few days before Christmas to spend Boxing day with my best friend and her family at their holiday home in Kamberg. It was another cool day with a scenic drive through the midlands trailing the rain with us.....we braaied...the kids played 30 Seconds....we chatted....we chilled....it was lovely with smiles and laughter. Christmas 2015 was not just another Christmas, it was a different Christmas.....