Being A Mother

On Mothers' Day every year, mothers are remembered with pride and love, spoiled with gifts and treated with breakfasts and lunches and generally made to feel that there is no one in the world that compares in the eyes of her children.  It is a day like no other for many and how ever big or small the effort made, she can be sure of the love and appreciation her family bestow on her.

For me, Mothers' Day rolls around every year the Sunday after my birthday.  I remember when Matthew was born I just skidded in by the skin of my teeth.  He was born in the very early hours of the Saturday morning and the following day was Mothers' Day.  I was 23 years old and quite unprepared for the state of motherhood.  I remember well though thinking after 8 1/2 hours of labour that if the result of what I held in my arms was anything to go by I would do it all over again tomorrow.  Matthew was a model baby, sleeping and eating his days and nights away and the love I had for him then was miniscual compared to the love I have for him today.  At 31 years of age, I have so much pride in him and all he has been through and survived in his life, as well as all he has achieved.  He was the beginning of my journey into motherhood, a journey I have eased into and grown with over the years.

Twenty two and a half months later, I became a mother for the second time, to Mark.  Second time round and motherhood hit me with a bang.  My pregnancy was different, labour very short but very intense and suddenly I was thrown into the world of sickness and illness almost every day.  Thank goodness Matthew was still so very placid and easy going and getting him 'involved' in helping with his little brother, evolved a relationship that was bound for eternity.  They were like chalk and cheese in personality...Matthew, introverted, quiet, methodical, caring and so very soft hearted...Mark, extroverted, intense, ready for a challenge, giving and loving.  They complimented each other and stuck together through thick and thin.

Third time round, motherhood was sudden...no pregnancy, no nausea, no swelling, no weight gain, no labour pains and NiQi arrived in our lives at 6 months of age.  A sister for two boys - Matthew 6 1/2 years old and Mark 4 1/2.  At first Matthew was unsure of having a little girl around, but seeing her every day in hospital and watching her, he changed his mind and decided that if we were happy then he would be happy.  Mark on the other hand was keen to have a sister, especially one who had something in common with him....cystic fibrosis...

I tried so hard to be the best I could be to 3 very different children.  Giving equal time and attention was tricky at times, especially when Mark needed so much more than either Matthew or NiQi did.  I have to admit that having a supportive husband in Johan who worked and provided  for our family, afforded me the opportunity of being able to be a stay at home mum.  Mark's short life affected us all in different ways.  It made me stronger.  I became a fighter, standing up for my children and striving for the absolute best for each of them.  I learned to hide my emotions and be brave and strong for them, even though at times I was aching and hurting so badly I felt I would die for them if need be.  I wanted them to know they were loved and be able to feel it too.  We baked together, where Matthew proved that beating dough to a pulp with his tiny little hand, produced scones that were tall and light and fluffy.  We built puzzles together, where Mark showed us that he had hours of patience in looking for the pieces to fit in and complete the puzzle.  We read story books before bed...The Ugly duckling, that made Matthew cry every time we read it because he felt so sorry for the duckling that no one loved.  Hansel and Gretel that  Mark knew the words to so well that if I skipped a page, he would tell me so and recite the next part of the story word for word.  The animal story books that NiQi would always choose and started her on the path to loving everything that breathes today.  We set up shops and would go 'shopping' and buy our goods from each other, using monopoly money to pay.  We 'built' tents in the lounge with all the bedding and cushions and then would lie together inside, giggling and nudging each other.  Most of all I loved it when they all were safely tucked up in bed and I could watch them breathing so peacefully.  That was when I re-packed their toys, counting puzzle pieces and meccano pieces.  My favourite of all was to pack away NiQi's dolls, dressing them and putting them to bed, or combing her Barbies hair till it frizzed and shone.

Yes I love Motherhood and I wouldn't swop it for the world, it has been the best part of my life and I will enjoy it until the day I die.  Thank you to my children...Matthew, Mark and NiQi...you are and were each unique and in your uniqueness you have given me more than I could ever hope for, more than I deserve...