Jenna Lowe and her 'Get Me To 21' Campaign

You know how sometimes in life you hear about someone who is making a difference to those around them and with today's social media making it so easy, you 'follow' them and what they are doing...well Jenna Lowe was one of those people for me.  I first heard about her near the end of last year with her 'Get Me to 21' Campaign.  It swept through South Africa like a tsunami that had reached our shores, it was that huge.  It was and still is a brilliant campaign to make South Africans aware of the much needed desire for the populace to sign up to the Organ Donor Foundation.  The face behind the campaign was Jenna Lowe, a young 20 year old who at the age of 17 was diagnosed with a disease called Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension.  As her disease progressed she realized that her only hope would be to undergo a lung transplant.

Knowing how few lung transplant surgeries are done in a year, piqued my interest and at first and before I knew, I thought that this youngster may too be suffering from Cystic Fibrosis.  So when I read that it wasn't, just the transplant factor alone was sufficient to keep me 'following' her.  In the 20 years since our Mark passed away, when lung transplants were still relatively new to South Africa, lung transplantation has come a long way.  There are many more survivors today than then...mostly youngsters... because of lung transplants...all given a second chance at life.

It was exciting news for the country, myself included, when news was released that Jenna had been blessed with receiving 'new' lungs on the 10th December last year and I think we all waited with baited breath to hear how she was recuperating.  On a routine clinic visit to NiQi's doctor after the operation we timidly asked if she could tell us how she was doing.  She was not very forthcoming with information as she told us that being a public figure it was up to the family to release any information on Jenna.  NiQi was in Milpark 3 times over the 6 months that Jenna stayed to recover...twice she was in the room next door, on the other side of the ICU doors.  As much as we were both itching to blog, because of her infamy, we restrained ourselves.  The closest I got was to sharing a Facebook post when things seemed to be going well...and even then I blanked out names to show the family sensitivity.

On Monday, 9th June, Jenna passed away.  The sadness of losing someone you have grown to 'love', even though you don't know them personally is devastating.  I have mulled over the news for the last few days with mixed emotions.  As you know NiQi is on the transplant list too waiting for her own new set of lungs and in the last year there have been more people we know who have either died waiting or not recovered from the transplant than those who have survived.  For a mother who is waiting in the wings it is not a good statistic.  I look at NiQi every day and I see SURVIVOR written all over her face.  She is as her trust fund and her Facebook page is named...FABULOUS AND FIGHTING.  She, like Jenna had, has dreams and plans for her future and yet we never know what the future actually holds for her.  I am sure that each time she receives all this information she processes it and shoves it aside.  As she gets older she has less and less to do with those who are in the same position as she herself.  She has a handful of friends she really trusts and those she has lost grows with each passing year.

From one mother who has already lost a child, I can only impart what I have learned over the years to Gabi, Jenna's mom.  Whether is was 3 years or 9 years that you lived watching your child battle for every breath and grow weaker and weaker, it is all the same.  Your pain was my pain. Your loss was my loss.  Your grief was my grief.  But you are an individual mother, a unique mother, who had and still has your own thoughts and feelings over what life has dealt you.  You will be strong for your family because that is how a mother and a wife is.  You will cry in private and when anyone catches you with tears pouring down your cheeks, you will brush them aside and put on a happy smile.  But  cry you must because it is all part of the healing process.  Some will tell you that you will never forget, that you will never get over the loss of Jenna, but you may be blessed like me and with time be able to focus on the happy times and remember all that was good and great.  But take time...all the time you need.  There will be firsts...your birthdays when her presence  is not there and her birthday when your heart will ache and you will remember the day she was born just like it was yesterday.  Mothers Day and Fathers Day, Christmas's and Family get togethers'. Favourite meals and places you visit that she loved to go to...all these 'firsts' will give mixed emotions of guilt and wondering how you can even smile or laugh when she is not with you...but 'firsts' become seconds and life goes on.  I think of our son looking down on me from Heaven and the promise I made to him a few short days before he passed away...that I would be good and try my best to live a life worthy that will get me to Heaven one day so that we can be together.  Now I wonder with all the millions of souls in Heaven if I will be able to find him, will he be waiting at the gates to Heaven with Jesus, waiting to welcome me?  I do not know your religious beliefs but for me I could not have survived if it were not for my daily conversations between me and God...asking him to look after him for me and thanking Him for loaning him to me so that I could love him and nurture him for 9 years.  One little thing that I believe with all my heart is that Jenna died at exactly the time that was destined for her...the lungs she so badly needed gave her relief for such a short time and in some twisted way and on reflection, the lungs were not the solution.  My life has been blessed through my personal experiences  and I am thankful and grateful....I have gone through more than many others but I thank God for giving me the grace not to be bitter or hold hatred in my heart.  I will pray for the same for you.  Gabi, Stuart and Kristi, I feel like I know you and you will always remain dear to my heart.  God bless you all as you continue with Jenna's legacy in her memory...

Photos posted here under are courtesy of Gabi Lowe...