Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Finding Family

Imagine waking up one mundane and ordinary morning and going about your usual run of the mill day, when suddenly your cell phone pings and via social media you have a message from a perfect stranger asking you if you have ever heard of a person that you happen to know was your father.  Well this happened just as described to someone very close to me and I thought to myself how social media has opened the doors to many all over the world who are looking for someone from their past.

In this case, so I am told, the messaging started by the stranger asking if they recognized any similarity in their names....which I believe was blatantly obvious by their surname and her maiden name (as is noted on her social media account) being spelled in exactly the same way.  The surname too, is not a very common one which piqued the interest of my friend and led to her reply.

At first unsure of where this person was going with her question she answered with the obvious but then added, as if to throw them off a bit that there were plenty of people in the world with the same surname.  In the interim she did her own quick investigation into the stranger's page, noting birth day, mother's name, town she was from etc.  Knowing her own family history with regard to her father she put two and two together and realized that this person was in all probability her half sister...but she waited until the next and following messages came through.

She herself was loath to give out any personal information, responding to questions with further questions and not giving any direct answers.  She was not sure what the motive behind the questions was as her father had passed away many years ago.  Was this young girl asking because she was genuinely just looking for him or was there another reason.  The messages went back and forth between the two of them and my friend learned that she knew this man she was asking after had passed away, although she didn't know when and had the incorrect year.  This made my friend suspiciously wonder if she was maybe looking for some kind of inheritance and finally left the messaging with one to the stranger saying she will try to find some information out for her via contacts in Home Affairs.

Well the first person she told about the morning's events was her sister and at length they discussed the possibility, but more likely, probability that this was their half sister - a very much younger half sister mind you, even younger than their own children.  The information gleaned from both the stranger and social media pointed to this very fact.  The next person she told was her daughter and later that evening her husband.

The following morning she decided to take the bull by the horns and message with everything the stranger had wanted to know...finishing off with the information that they are indeed half sisters and she does not hold her responsible for what happened between a family that was torn apart and another that was started.  I believe it took a while before she had a response and what came back was one that said she just wanted to find out about her biological father.  She had a father figure in her life, someone she called 'dad' but she knew by the fact that her surname was different that he was not her father.  It appears that she and her mother are not close and she was left to be raised by her granny as a young girl. She is looking for nothing but answers.

My friend and I are very close, in fact close enough to be sisters in kindred spirit and she said she feels an anticipated excitement at maybe finding some answers to questions she may have about a time when things are very hazy.

How many of us have family somewhere in this big wide world that we know nothing about...maybe more of us than we realize.  How many of us would open our hearts to a complete stranger and accept them as a part of their very small and very private family?  Isn't life wondrous with the detours taken and the stops and starts made....if any one of us have someone we can call family, we should embrace them with open arms for I am sure there are many out there who have absolutely no one....





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