Larkwood Life: Our Boys

In two days time it will be the 13th March...the birth date of our late son, Mark. If he were alive today he would celebrate his 28th birthday.... sadly he died when he was just 9 years old. Mark was our younger son, born 22 1/2 months after Matthew.

Matthew our first born and eldest child was born in May 1984. He was what could be termed a good baby. He slept and fed his way through life and the only problem I seemed to have with him in those first six months or so, was making sure he woke so I could feed him. He made being a parent so easy and it was because of that we decided to try for a second baby.

When Mark arrived, we involved Matthew with as much as we could so he wouldn't feel left out, from him picking out Mark's clothes for the day to him helping at bath time.

As a young mother I made a vow to myself that I would have no favourites, love each of our children equally and divide my time so none felt left out. (I put Johan firmly in the catergory of children too so he would feel loved as much as our boys...hehe)

This went well I think until Mark was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis then suddenly I found I was having to spread myself thinner as Mark needed more attention and both Johan and Matthew deserved equal time. I always thought I did a good job until recently, and on looking back I realize how difficult it was... AND yet here is Matthew today, almost 30 years old and I am so proud of him.

As a scholar he was a high achiever every single year both in the classroom and on the sports field. If he didn't succeed at something first time round, he would persevere until he got it right. I never had to tell him to do his homework or eat his vegetables, or clean his room or pick up his clothes...he just did it because he knew what was expected of him. When he was in high school I taught him how to cook and once a week, every week he would make supper for us. When Johan was working away from home for many years, Matthew was our protector...the grown up for his dad. He was also my sounding board for so many decisions with regard to NiQi, just because he was there and he could see things from a different perspective to me.

After Mark died, Matthew's life changed forever, he had lost his brother and best friend and it took him a while to accept it and move on...but he did, in a mature and quiet manner. Matthew is one of those people who know what he wants from life...he has plans and goals and there is no time frame so long as he gets there in the end.

Like both Johan and I, he does not like tardiness in others, has little time for stupidity, expects everyone to work as diligently as he does, will not accept liers, cheaters and thieves making excuses for the situation they have made for themselves and yet he is the kindest most caring soul I know. He has compassion for the downtrodden and love for the weak and sickly. He loves his granny to bits and will anything to help her. These days he has Jess by his side, his wife who he cherishes and loves. Where I failed, God took over and He has blessed us with the amazing son I can admire today...two personalities...two individuals that we have loved and still love...these are our boys.